“Dear future child
If it’s 3am and you find yourself in a world of complete despair
Please do not turn to strangers on the internet for solace as I did
Please climb onto my bed
And I will hold you until the demons sleep
If it is Thursday morning and you are too sad to move
I won’t force you
I will buy ice cream and we will watch your favourite tv show and I will remind you of your importance
If you feel as if you have no purpose
I will remind you that you were created entirely with love and every pain you feel, I feel too
When you’re sure you can’t go on anymore
I will tell you that when I was 21 I searched for peace at the bottom of a vodka bottle chased by a bottle of pain killers
But that five years later
When you were placed in my arms in the delivery room
I realised that you were why I had been holding on
Without realising it, you saved me, do you know how amazing that is?
So if you ever feel like grabbing that vodka bottle, put it down, we will get in the car and I will drive until the sky turns magenta
I will show you how the sun rises every morning to encourage you to rise too
Sweetheart I refuse to be unaware of your sufferings
As my mother was to mine.”—
“You’re the only person that ever made me feel anything, really feel. Even if it wasn’t always the best of feelings, you’re the only one who could make me smile or tear me down in three seconds flat. You’re the only person that can drive me crazy, in both good and bad ways. You’re the only person that ever made me feel like I didn’t have to try so hard. And I know that you’re not okay without me either, or you wouldn’t talk about such things as you do. I just wish you knew I still loved you, and I wish you would do something with that knowledge. I wish you would grab me and hold me tight in your arms and whisper in my ear how much you loved me more, like you always did.”—Daily Tumblr Love Quotes (via thelovewhisperer)
“Wake up early. Do not check your phone. Have a shower, wash your hair and use your favorite perfume. Only apply minimal makeup, look at yourself in the mirror, and remember - you are beautiful. Do not think of him. Put on something pretty and comfortable, have a healthy breakfast, walk outside barefoot. Do not wonder what he is doing. Go for a run and love how strong you feel. Dance. Do not check your phone. Go shopping, buy that deep red lipstick you love but were too scared to buy. Pick yourself flowers. You don’t need him. Be reminded of how happy you can be by yourself. Do not think of him. If you are lonely, call an old friend. Light some candles. Love yourself. You are okay, you are beautiful, you do not need him. Life is good.”—jg, I just really needed to write this (via foreverrtired)
if you’re going to leave, that’s fine.
and I know you promised you wouldn’t
seven months ago while I was crying
into your neck but I also know that
sometimes it rains even when it’s not
supposed to and sometimes boys
kiss girls they shouldn’t and we tear
flowers out of the ground just to watch
them die and things change,
so I understand if you’re done,
but please, when you’re packing all your
old sweaters and books, don’t forget
to take all your three AM phone calls,
and photographs where we’re smiling
so wide it looks like we’ve never known
that feeling in the pit of your stomach
when someone screams “I don’t love you
Take back every kiss, every night you
fell asleep next to me, every poem I
wrote you, every song you sang to
me, every “I love you more fight,”
every shock I felt in my skin when
you brushed against me.
I was never scared of ghosts until you
left but now I see you everywhere and
god if you’re going to kill me please
just do it quickly because I see you
in everything and it’s making it hard
I won’t say I miss you but I think my mother knows anyway (via extrasad)
“I won’t beg someone to love me. I learned long ago that there is no use in hopeless pleas of trying to make someone stay. I am too good to chase someone who does not know my worth and I am too wild to keep waiting for someone who doesn’t acknowledge my value. I want to be loved unconditionally. I shouldn’t have to fight so hard for it. I do not have the time to prove to someone that I am worth it. I shouldn’t have to prove any of that; I am worth more than that.”—
“1. Do not buy the shampoo he uses just to be able to smell like him again.
2. When he starts posting pictures of his new girlfriend, unfollow him. Block her. Do not try to keep up on their relationship.
3. Delete all the pictures and screenshots you have of him or relating to him. Nothing hurts more than looking through your past.
4. Put all of his stuff in a box to mail to him when you’re ready.
5. Clean your room, wash your sheets. Scrub everything he ever touched, including your body. Rid yourself of his touch.
6. When the flashbacks come, the good and the bad, know it’s okay to cry and shake. It’s not okay to drunk text him in a desperate attempt to bring him back into your arms.
7. Get coffee with the boy who immediately smiles when he sees you and picks up the things you drop.”—how to move on (via restrictedthoughts)
I think the worse part about missing your first real love….is the waves. Like one night you’re drinkin and laughing with friends and you realize that you haven’t thought about him at all…which is great because ya know…you always think about him…especially when you’re drunk. You’re not even crying! And you think…maybe Im gonna get over him…maybe I’m really healing. Im really doing this. And then another day you’re cutting up cucumbers for a salad and all of a sudden you freeze..and you’re overtaken with this overwhelming sense of drowning. I mean you literally can’t even breathe. Then you are suddenly aware of that deep chasm in your soul you thought you’d distracted yourself…that maybe the going out on random other dates. .the yoga..the day to day life activities…the liqour and late nights at work had filled. But it happens anyway. That wave…the damn wave just….comes…and you kind of wonder if this is how it’ll always be…getting as happy as you can before the wave of absence…of missing….of constant held back tears..comes crashing down on you..
Yeah..the worst part about missing him..is the waves…
for chinese new year they get all these famous actors and comedians together and they do a lil show and one of the comedians was like “i was in a hotel in america once and there was a mouse in my room so i called reception except i forgot the english word for mouse so instead i said ‘you know tom and jerry? jerry is here’
“if you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?”—one of the most eye opening things i’ve read in a while (via cacophobix)
“It’s so fucking twisted, you know. This whole “love” thing. Like really? You fall in love and you literally fall. You crash to the ground and I swear to god all your bones break. You’re fucking shattered but you don’t notice because you’ve got this beautiful boy whispering in your ear and kissing your neck and nothing else matters. But then he leaves and suddenly you feel it. You feel everything. And you’re hysterically crying in your car at 4 in the morning in some empty parking lot because it’s the only place that doesn’t taste like him and you’re trying to hold your bones together but his old t-shirts don’t work as a cast, wrapping them around your chest won’t fix the craters in your ribs. Nothing stops the aching.”—(via extrasad)
1. I haven’t slept in a few days. My mother thinks I’ve been drinking too much coffee but I think maybe it’s just that I really really miss rolling over in bed and finding myself pressed up against you.
2. Places that stay open 24 hours are comforting because I know that when I wake up screaming at 3 in the morning I’ll have somewhere to go when staying in bed doesn’t feel okay anymore but you always passed out by 11 and you slept through the night.
3. My sixth grade science teacher taught me that your body automatically knows to pull away when you touch something that hurts you, you’ve made me cry at least 6 times this week and I’ve lost count of the times I’ve found myself shaking and dripping blood because you forgot to tell me you love me and god it hurts so fucking much but I can’t pull away.
4. One time when I was younger my parents took me to the beach and I swam out a little too far and let the ocean choke on me and my dad screamed and yanked me out of the water. I think I’m drowning again but there is no one here to pull me out. I just need someone to fucking pull me out.
5. I’m not sure why I keep telling everyone I’m okay. I’m not okay. And sometimes when someone asks how I am I want to tell them that my heart is broken, and that’s okay you know, I can deal with a broken heart, but the pieces have been shifting and I’ve got these really sharp edges in my veins and my lungs and my stomach and I think I’m being torn apart, I’m not really sure. I can’t really breathe and I’m a little bit dizzy.
6. I think I should stop writing you letters. It’s not fair to kill trees just because you’re killing me.
7. I fell for you. Like really fell for you. Like I saw you smile and I swear to god I crashed down to earth and broke all my bones. How come when astroids fall to earth they leave craters in the ground and kill out the dinosaurs but when I do it I just end up in bed for days watching The Notebook and crying till I’m numb.
8. I thought getting high would get you off my mind but I spent a few hours standing in the middle of the street wishing you would kiss me. or that a car would hit me.
”—It’s been 207 days since you left and I’m still a fucking mess (via extrasad)